Don't Do It With This Drink -- The Procrastination

I'll get to it later. Tomorrow. Next week. We've all procrastinated. Maybe you're doing it right now. The Procrastination is a cocktail that's definitely worth reading about and drinking. Paul Clarke in Seattle created the Procrastination, and I slightly adapted the recipe after discovering it in Difford's Guide.

Procrastination2 ounces gin
.75 ounces Lupo limoncello
.5 ounces dry vermouth
.25 ounces green Chartreuse

Combine in a mixing glass with ice, stir slowly as if you're procrastinating, and strain into a glass, preferably a coupe. Lemon peel garnish optional.

The Procrastination is smooth and strong. Its combination of gin, vermouth, and citrus flavor is reminiscent of my Gintringuing, and the combination of gin, limoncello, and Chartreuse makes it similar to a Lemony (which I also learned about courtesy of Difford's Guide). The green Chartreuse, used in drinks such as the Last Word and the Tipperary, adds a little kick to the Procrastination. The difference between Clarke's original and my version is simple -- Clarke calls for 1/6 ounce of Chartreuse, and I just rounded up to a quarter ounce to make my life easier.

Now stop procrastinating and make yourself a Procrastination.


Dangerously Drinkable -- The Peligroso

Peligroso is the Spanish word for dangerous. The Peligroso comes from the excellent La Factoría bar in San Juan. Ms. Cocktail Den and I visited La Factoria many times when we went to Puerto Rico for part one and part two of Tales of La Isla del Encanto. Like the original Peligroso, the danger in my minor adaptation only lies in its smoothness.

Peligroso1.5 ounces light rum (I like Don Q)
.5 ounces Campari
.5 ounces Averna
.25 ounces allspice dram
Juice from 3/4 lime
.5 ounces super simple syrup 
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Combine in a shaker with ice, shake as if you're a dangerously good bartender, and strain into a chilled glass, preferably a coupe. Lime peel garnish optional.

The Peligroso is creative and complex. Combining rum with amari (bittersweet liqueurs) might seem odd, but it's not. After all, the classic Jungle Bird has rum and Campari, a part of drinks such as the Bitter Rasputin. Incorporating Averna, used in drinks such as the Midnight Train, and allspice dram give the Peligroso a hint of richness. La Factoría's Peligroso uses spiced syrup with allspice berries and sugar. My easy workaround includes allspice dram, part of my Les Bon Temps Roulé, and super simple syrup.

Do you want to bring some good danger into your life? Have a Peligroso.


A Sharp Olympic Drink -- The Lucien Gaudin

Hailing from France, Lucien Gaudin was an Olympic champion fencer in the 1920s.  Fencing as in trying to stab someone with one of three blade types.  Unlike the clear record of Gaudin's victories in three different Olympics (I'm a huge fan of the movie Chariots of Fire, part of which takes place at the 1924 Olympics in Paris), the origin of the Lucien Gaudin cocktail is hazy.

Lucien Gaudin1 ounce gin (bonjour Botanist)
.5 ounces Cointreau (c'est français comme Monsieur Gaudin)
.5 ounces Campari (mon ami italien)
.5 ounces dry vermouth (je t'aime Noilly Prat)

Combine in a mixing glass with ice, stir with the strategic precision of a fencer, and strain into a chilled glass. Orange peel garnish optional.

Some people describe the Lucien Gaudin as a variation on the classic Negroni. To me it's more Negroni adjacent. A true variation would have equal proportions of three spirits and some crossover. The Bijou and the Luck of the Irish are good examples. I know this is a fine point (pun intended). Cocktail technicalities aside, the Lucien Gaudin is lighter than a Negroni and is very pink. Do you like French themed cocktails? Try a Champs Elysees or a Burnt Fuselage.  Want something more on point (sorry, I can't help myself)?  Try an Ides of March or a Stiletto.

Have a Lucien Gaudin, cue the Chariots of Fire theme, and be victorious!


A No Joke Drink -- The Jersey Girl

Depending on your perspective, "Jersey girl" jokes are funny, stupid, and/or offensive. You won't make fun of the Jersey Girl cocktail. The late Gary "Gaz" Regan, a noted author and luminary in the cocktail community, created the Jersey Girl in 2005 in honor of the 225th anniversary of Laird & Company, which produces applejack and apple brandy. Where is Laird & Company headquartered? New Jersey.

Jersey Girl1.5 ounces applejack
1 ounce triple sec
Juice from 1/2 lime
1 ounce cranberry juice

Combine in a shaker with ice, shake with some stereotypical attitude of a you know who, and strain into a chilled glass (preferably martini or coupe). Lime slice garnish optional.

The Jersey Girl is a variation of the underrated Cosmopolitan, which is quite good if you make it properly. The Jersey Girl swaps in applejack for vodka. If you compare apples to apples, you'll know applejack is very similar to but not quite the same as apple brandy. You can use them in classics such as the Jack Rose, modern classics such as the Newark, or originals such as my American Apple. I prefer Cointreau, but you can use a different triple sec if you like. The Jersey Girl is a drink where you can compare apples to oranges, and the result is tasty. One last note -- use unsweetened cranberry juice if you can.

So what's the difference between a Jersey Girl and a Jersey girl? Think of a punchline as you savor a Jersey Girl.


Not North But -- The Southside

Like drinks such as the Margarita and the Jack Rose, the origin story of the Southside is hazy. In the late 19th century the Southside Sportsmen's Club in Long Island featured an eponymous cocktail with soda water. During Prohibition, the no fizz Southside became associated with two cities. New York was home to the 21 Club, a premier speakeasy that served a lot of them to thirsty Scofflaws. It also was popular on the South Side of Chicago, where the Racketeer Al Capone plied his trade. This is the variation I prefer.

Southside2.25 ounces gin
Juice from 1/2 lemon or 3/4 lime
.75 ounces super simple syrup
5-7 mint leaves

To make the Southside, you have two options: (1) Muddle the mint and super simple syrup in a shaker, then add everything else and ice, shake as if you're playing in a tough tennis match, and strain into a chilled glass, or (2) combine everything in a shaker with ice, shake as if you're fighting for control of organized crime, and strain into a chilled glass.  Mint leaf garnish optional.

Lemon or lime? Fresh squeezed juice or citrus wedges? Muddle or not? Granulated sugar or super simple syrup? Ask five bartenders and you may get five different answers. As long as you stick to the basic formula (gin sour and mint), there's no wrong answer. If you use lime, the Southside more or less becomes a gin Mojito. Gin and lemon go well together in the Bee's Knees and the Lemony, and they do here, too.

Pairing the refreshing Southside with music I can go to multiple destinations. Maybe I'll go Southbound with the Allman Brothers, to Sweet Home Chicago with Buddy Guy or the Blues Brothers, or to New York, New York with the one and only Frank Sinatra. All of these musical options are like the Southside itself -- many ways to get there, all of them good.


A Drink Of Pride -- The Lion's Tail

There are many myths about lions. For example, they don't have a king (sorry Disney fans) or live in jungles. One truth is a lion family is known as a pride. The Lion's Tail first appeared in 1937 in the Café Royal Cocktail Book. Reputable sources speculate an American expat bartender created the Lion's Tail in Britain during Prohibition, and the expression "twisting the lion's tail" originally referred to provoking Britain (a lion is on its coat of arms). 

Lion's Tail 22 ounces bourbon
.5 ounces allspice dram
.5 ounces super simple syrup
Juice from 1/2 lime
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Combine in a shaker with ice, shake with the power of a lion's roar, and strain into a chilled glass, preferably a coupe. Lime peel garnish optional.

Mixing common and uncommon ingredients, the Lion's Tail works better than you might think. Its use of bourbon,  legally an American spirit, supports the theory the Lion's Tail had an American creator. Incorporating allspice dram, a rum based liqueur you'll see in the Donna Maria or my Les Bon Temps Roulé, gives the Lion's Tail a vague tropical vibe. Similarly, Angostura bitters originated in Venezuela and has called Trinidad & Tobago home for more than a century.

A Lion's Tail -- it's hakuna matata for your liver and spirit.


A Spiritual Playboy Cocktail -- The Cloister

A cloister is an architectural feature in monasteries, convents, and other religious institutions.  The Cloister is a drink that comes from an unquestionably non-religious institution: the Playboy Bartender's Guide. Published in 1971, the book and the Cloister are my age. In 2011 Jim Meehan, who created the Brown Bomber and the Newark, mentioned the drink in his PDT Cocktail Book.

Cloister1.5 ounces gin
.5 ounces yellow Chartreuse
Juice from 1/8 grapefruit
Juice from 1/4 lemon
.25 ounces super simple syrup

Combine in a shaker with ice, shake with the resonant rhythm of a Gregorian chant (which I like), and strain into a chilled glass.  Grapefruit peel garnish optional.

Considering the word cloister, either used as a noun or verb, frequently comes up in connection with monks, it's no surprise the Cloister contains Chartreuse. As we see in cocktails such as the Last Word, gin and green Chartreuse go well together, but for the Cloister you want to go yellow. The Phil Collins also combines gin and yellow Chartreuse, which is a key part of non-gin drinks such as the Diamondback. Along with the super simple syrup, the yellow Chartreuse keeps the Cloister from being overwhelmingly tart.

Have a Cloister, and you may have a, dare I say, religious experience.


Cocktail Fun While It Lasts -- The One Night Stand

Many people have had a one night stand at some point.  Are you thinking about one right now? Put aside your X-rated memories and focus on this cocktail creation from Brian Ireland and Demetri Karnessis. I discovered it in Chilled magazine.

One Night Stand2 ounces gin
.5 ounces Aperol
.5 ounces triple sec
Juice from 1/4 grapefruit

Combine in a shaker with ice, shake like (do you really need an analogy here?), and strain into a chilled glass.  Orange peel garnish optional.

Ireland and Karnessis use a particular brand of gin in the One Night Stand, but they don't call for a specific triple sec (a generic term for an orange liqueur). I like Cointreau, which I use in my Cancer Killer #1 and the Margarita. If you prefer a different triple sec, go for it.  Aperol, a part of the Naked and Famous and my Venetian Kiss, is a lighter amaro. Combine all of these spirits with the grapefruit juice, and you'll get an undeniably pink drink. If you like the One Night Stand, you might like similarly themed drinks such as the Intense Ginger Sutra and the Hanky Panky.

Enjoy the One Night Stand, but recognize too many could lead to something bad -- a hangover or something a Penicillin won't cure. Cheers!


Liquid Art -- When Ernest Met Mary

Art can be words on a page, images on a screen, liquids in a glass. Ernest Hemingway was a famous author (and drinker), and Mary Pickford was a trailblazing actress at the dawn of the Hollywood film industry. Named for one of his novels, The Sun Also Rises is an absinthe enhanced twist on the Hemingway Daiquiri. She had an eponymous drink created during one of her movies. Crillon Importers generously provided a free bottle of Absente Absinthe Refined so I could play with it, and the When Ernest Met Mary is my resulting attempt at cocktail art.

When Ernest Met Mary2 ounces rum
.5 ounces maraschino liqueur
.25 ounces absinthe
.5 ounces pineapple juice
Juice from 1/4 lime (.25 ounces)

Combine in a shaker with ice, shake with passionate and artistic flair, and strain into a chilled glass. Lime wedge and/or Luxardo cherry garnish optional.

Like its predecessors, the When Ernest Met Mary uses rum and maraschino liqueur. Half an ounce of maraschino liqueur might seem like a lot, but it leads to a balanced cocktail. The pineapple juice comes from the Mary Pickford, and the lime juice comes from the Hemingway Daiquiri. Use fresh juices if you can. Absinthe adds a splash of anise to this cocktail canvas. I decided to use absinthe directly in the When Ernest Met Mary as you might in a Millionaire, not a rinse as you would in a Sazerac. A little absinthe goes a long way.

Ms. Pickford, meet Mr. Hemingway. Mr. Hemingway, meet Ms. Pickford. And to you ... cheers!


A Monk From New Orleans -- The Carthusian Sazerac

The people of New Orleans are known for their joyous, free spirited lifestyle. Monks are not. That includes the monks of the small Carthusian Order. The Carthusians are known for their Chartreuse liqueur. Combine it with the Sazerac, the official cocktail of New Orleans, and you get a Carthusian Sazerac. Spice Kitchen & Bar in Cleveland created this drink, and my fellow cocktailian Michael Bounds, creator of the Ides Of March and the Another Green World, introduced me to it.

Carthusian Sazerac2.5 ounces rye
.75 ounces super simple syrup
.25 ounces green Chartreuse
2 dashes lemon bitters
Teaspoon of absinthe

Swirl the absinthe so you coat the inside of a chilled glass, then discard the remainder. Combine the other ingredients in a glass and stir with the rhythmic solemnity of a mass or a slow jazz piece. Lemon twist garnish optional.

If you like "spirit forward" (I love this euphemism) cocktails, the Carthusian Sazerac is for you. Rye is a powerful base of any Sazerac or spinoffs such as the Orange Satchmo. Green Chartreuse, a key component of the Bijou and the Last Word, has more alcohol by volume than most whiskies and its yellow counterpart, which you use in drinks such as the Diamondback and the Renegade. Lemon bitters, which are fairly easy to acquire, substitute for the Peychaud's bitters that are an indispensable part of the iconic Sazerac.

Whether you're introverted like a stereotypical monk, extroverted like a stereotypical New Orleanian, or both, the Carthusian Sazerac might be for you.